I feel like I experience break ups in a very unique way because of the fact I am an INFJ.
As an INFJ, when it comes to relationships mine are few and far between. This is because I need to be able to really connect with a person on a range of levels before I start to develop romantic feelings for them. Once I have this with a person, quite frankly, I'm screwed. When I develop a really strong connection with a person I get very attached; not in a clingy way, more in a 'you mean a lot to me, I really care about you, but I'm not going to be super in your face about it' way.
So when relationships come to an end it's really difficult for me -when it's the other person who decides to end it anyway. I'm sure you're able to guess that I'm writing this because I have recently gone through a break up, and you're not wrong. Granted it was two months ago that things ended, but today I realised I'm not quite as over it as I had first thought.
I was only with the guy for four months, but out of all of my exs he's the one I developed the strongest connection with. We had so many things in common, both in terms of interests, personality traits and values, and we got along so effortlessly from the moment we met. There's an ancient Buddhist teaching that your soulmate isn't the person who gives you butterflies, but instead is the person you always feel completely at ease with; and that's what things were like with him.
I cared very deeply about him. He managed to restore my hope both in men and love, and for that I will be forever grateful. But obviously he decided to end things with me. He had his reasons which I won't go into, purely because it's personal and I've done enough over-thinking about that stuff already. We agreed to stay friends and that's working out surprisingly well. That being said our contact is almost exclusively through messaging and social media now. I feel that remaining friends and talking most days is both a help and a hindrance for me. It helps because it means I haven't completely lost the connection I have with him -it's just weakened. But it doesn't help because it means I still have hope for the future. It also doesn't help because when I see him interacting with other females I feel a pang of jealously and sadness in my chest. And that's what's proving to be the hardest part for me. I'll be completely over him eventually though...
