Jottings In My Notebook: Aims for 2015.

Earlier this morning before I hit the hay, I pulled out my holographic T-Rex notebook and on the top of a fresh page scribbled '2015'. Then I started to jot down some of the main things I wanted to achieve and work towards in the coming 365 days of 2015. At first I didn't think the list would been very long as I'd never really be one for making any form of New Year's Resolution. But the length of my list once I had finished it was quite surprising; and I didn't even write down everything I wanted to achieve in 2015, just the stuff I felt was most important to me!

So here's a little look into what I want to get out of my next 365 page chapter:

• Really make an effort to practise mindfulness,
• Make yoga and hooping part of my daily/weekly routine,
• Actually use the library,
• Become more confident, especially in terms of body confidence,
• Go to a film premier,
• Go to more concerts -at least 3,
• Open a savings account with the aim of saving £1,000 by the end of the year,
• Go ice skating more,
• Write more,
• Read more,
• Take more photos,
• Make more of an effort in learning Italian,
• Help people more -especially those in need- in some way or another,
• Give less of a fuck about people's thoughts/opinions of me,
• Realise and take note of who my real friends are -hold onto them and let the others go.

What are some of the things you guys are hoping to get out of 2015?
-Hannah. :)

Thoughts and Opinions: Anti-Social?

I feel like this is quite an important post. As you know this blog is made up of me talking about aspects of my introverted life; the main aspect being the fact that I'm a very introverted person in a world that doesn't always value or understand introversion. It is this lack of understanding towards introversion that results in many introverts -myself included- being labelled as anti-social, even by people who are close to them.

I have been called anti-social by the majority of my family, some of my friends and even my boyfriend. But the thing is I'm not an anti-social person. I just don't feel the need to interact with, or even be around, people as often as they do. I enjoy socialising with my friends as much as the next person, I just don't like doing it for too long. Being around people, even people I have known for years; flitting between conversations; and just actively being 'present' is fun fine at first, but it takes up a lot of energy and after a few hours I just want to go home to spend time alone. That doesn't make me an anti-social person though, it makes me a person who needs to 're-charge' more often than others. If I were really anti-social I wouldn't have bothered coming downstairs or going out in the first place.

[Source]

The fact that I also suffer from social anxiety is another issue when it comes to being mislabelled as 'anti-social' by others, especially strangers and acquaintances. When people first meet me then tend to think that I'm 'rude', 'stuck up' and/or 'anti-social'. They make these assumptions because I'm not like them when it comes to socialising. To them I am abnormal and therefore deserve these negative labels, because they can't empathise with how much of a struggle I find social situations, especially new ones. You can ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I am neither rude or stuck up. Just because I can't hold a conversation doesn't make me a bad person. Just because I don't say a lot and don't ask questions doesn't make me a bad person either. Just because you can't tell I'm mentally panicking as I speak to you, or that my heart is pounding and my palms are sweating profusely as we interact, doesn't give you the right to assume that I'm a rude, stuck up or anti-social individual.

I think if extroverted people made an attempt to try and understand the perspective introverts have on life; and if sociable people made an attempt to understand how it feels to have social anxiety, both would be seen in less negative lights. I would also hope that it meant people like me would stop being labelled as anti-social and judged as rude by others.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Sorry that it turned into a little bit of a rant half way through.

-Hannah. :)