Bucket List Achievement: Meeting Meerkats.

The aptly named Timon.

One day in June my mum phoned me to ask if I would be interested in a 'Meet the Meerkats Experience' in Cambridgeshire as an early 21st birthday present, as Wowcher had e-mailed her an offer on it. Of course I took her up on the offer and said that I would love to meet some meerkats for my 21st. A few months previous to this I'd actually researched into a 'Meet the Meerkats Experience' at another location.

Now as all of that may imply, I have been a huge meerkat fan for a very, very long time, and when the Compare the Market adverts came out with Alexander, my love of meerkats only grew -don't even get me started on Baby Olaf. So I was pretty excited about getting the opportunity to meet and interact with some.

So my mum ordered two of these experience voucher thingies with my email address -the second for my photographer chum whose birthday is three weeks after mine. A few days later I received an email from Wowcher with all the details of my mum's order, as well as how and when I could redeem my 'Meet the Meerkats Experience'.

Fast forward to a few days ago, and BAM! it was time for me to meet some meerkats! So that's one less thing remaining on my bucketlist. Although I must admit I am tempted to add on 'Meet more meerkats.'
-Hannah. :)

It's Been Awhile: A Catch Up.

I realise that it has been quite some time since I last posted anything on here. Sorry about that! Things have just been a little more hectic and time consuming than before. To save having a mini-spam of posts about a number of different things since I last spoke to you I figured making a little 'life update' post might be better.

The beautiful snowflake charm necklace I got from one of my nans.

Biggest bit of news first: I'M TWENTY-ONE! As of the Monday just gone I reached another big age milestone. The actual day itself didn't feel too much like my birthday, but that's probably because I did most of my celebrating the two days previous -that, and I had uni. On the Saturday I got treated to an Oxford Street shopping spree. I was quite reserved about what I got though, because although my boyfriend kept saying I could go as crazy as I wanted, I know he is very money conscious, so I didn't want to wreck his bank account too much. Then on the Sunday I had most of my immediate family come around for red velvet cake; and on Monday, after coming home from uni with two vases in tow for my lovely flowers, I went to Frankie & Benny's for dinner and had the most delicious salmon!

Secondly, I'm back at uni now. That was a little crazy at first because there was a bit of an issue with online registering within the Psychology Department, and then there was an issue with timetabling as a result of the registration stuff. It doesn't sound like too much, but I'm a very neurotic person so I was in stress central for the first two-ish weeks. Things have settled down now thankfully, and so far I'm enjoying my second year. But that's probably because I've not had to do any assignments yet.

The beautiful pink lilies that my boyfriend got me for my 21st.

Also I am thoroughly enjoying Lush's Autumn/Winter products at the moment! When their store by my campus released their A/W stuff I went in there twice in the same day, and only felt the tiniest bit ashamed about my very apparent addiction. Then there was a student shopping event in the mall one evening and Lush were open, so naturally I went in and got even more stuff. And I've been in another couple of times since then (Oops... Sorry bank account!).

Another thing I'm also really enjoying at the moment is Strictly Come Dancing. I just love to watch people dance and admire the female dancer's beautiful dresses! The only bad thing is that I get really jealous of all the professionals for being such graceful and talented dancers, and of all of the celebrities for getting the chance to learn how to dance.

Finally, I met the most adorable and friendly, little kitten on my walk home from the town centre the other day! That's not exactly note-worthy to most of you I expect, but I am a massive cat lady and that cute, little thing really made my day. I met her a few roads down from my uni house and after a good fifteen or so minutes of petting and stroking I forced myself to carry on walking home (I honestly would've stayed there all day if I could have, and not looked weird) and the sweetheart followed my half the way home! It was honestly the sweetest thing!

What are some of the things you guys have been up to and/or enjoying since my last Blogger appearance?
-Hannah. :)

Happiness: October.

Today marks the start of October. To some today is the same as any other day; to other's -myself included- it's rent day; and to others it's the tenth day of the year where they can go around pinching and punching people. But to me, today is a lot more than all of that. For me, today marks the start of my favourite month and my favourite season.

[Source]

I absolutely adore October and the autumn. Autumn has the perfect weather, and everything always looks so beautiful during the autumn months. I love layering up in all my favourite clothes, and autumnal accessories, and going for walks alone, or meeting up with a good friend in a coffee shop. That all sounds so simple, but it honestly makes me incredibly happy. At the end of almost every day in autumn, regardless of what I have done, I always have this sense of comfort and satisfaction.

And all those warm and fuzzy emotions are usually at their peak during October. A lot of people think October is my favourite month because that's when my birthday is, but in all honesty October would still be my favourite month even if my birthday was at any other time of year. Having an October birthday is just a coincidental perk.

October is my favourite month because that's when autumn really settles in. Slowly but surely it starts getting darker earlier, which mean long cosy nights in with a huge mug of hot chocolate. Everywhere is covered in piles of fallen leaves in varying hues of red, orange, yellow and brown, that make such a satisfying crunching sound when you walk on them. And most importantly there's Halloween.

I love Halloween! Not in the dress up in a rubbish costume and get drunk with friends sense, which is popular among some of my friends -I spend my Halloween watching Halloweeny films by candlelight via the various holes in my pumpkin(s). I love Halloween for a multitude of much simpler reasons. There are pumpkins everywhere, and people get super creative when it comes to carving them; there are cute and creepy decorations dotted about the place; there are great films on TV, like Halloween Town, The Addams Family and anything by Tim Burton; you get to see little kids and adults alike getting creative with their costumes. I could go on and on, but I'll leave it at that before I bore you.

Regardless of whether or not you love this month as much as I do, I hope you all have a really good October. Let me know in the comments what your favourite month/time of year is and why!
-Hannah. :)

Attraction: Not Having a Type.

One question that comes up in a multitude of ways over the course of your life is: "What's your type?" or "What sort of guy/girl do you usually go for?" I've been asked this a number of times over the years by friends, and once or twice on websites that allow you to ask people things anonymously -i.e. Tumblr and Formspring- and I've never found myself able to answer them properly.

I can list a number of personality traits that I look for in a prospective partner. I can also list a number of morals and beliefs I'd like my ideal partner to have. And I can list a range of other things too -such as hobbies and their taste in music, films and comedy- but I can never find myself able to say what my 'type' is when it comes to physical attraction. There doesn't appear to be one figure I prefer to others, or a certain type of nose that I can't resist, or even a height that I favour over others.

Zacky Vengeance, who will be getting a mention a little further on.
[Source]

Now I'm not going to go on to say that I don't have a type because I don't think looks are important. That would be a lie. Looks are important, but only to an extent. I personally feel that you need to be physically attracted to someone as well as attracted to them in other ways in order to have the best possible relationship. What I'm trying to say in this post is, that although looks are important, there isn't a type of look I go for.

I'm currently dating a weightlifter. He's about 5ft8, muscular, has short, brown hair, has facial hair and brown/hazel eyes. But my two boyfriends before him were the complete opposite, and both in different ways. One was a tall, lanky, 'emo', with a big, dyed blonde fringe, and blue eyes. The other was a tall, indie boy, of a normal build, who had shortish curly brown hair and brown eyes. So there's quite the mix in my small dating history.

The ever so handsome Chris Evans. Again he will be mentioned a little further on.
[Source]

My lack of a 'type' is also incredibly evident when you look at my two 'celebrity crushes' -I really hate that term, there's just something cringey about it. The longest serving on my list is the one and only Zacky Vengeance. As you can see from the picture I've included he doesn't really match up physically with any of my exs. Then, right up there along side Zacky is Chris Evans, and I think it goes without saying that Chris Evans is nothing like Zacky or my exs in terms of appearance.

Over the years I've tried piecing common traits together and always come up with nothing. Sure there are features that I like -such as dark hair and blue eyes, and being around the six foot mark- but having those things doesn't automatically make me attracted to that person, and not having those things doesn't necessarily mean I won't find that person attractive either.

I guess I'm even more indecisive than I originally thought.
-Hannah. :)

Post Secret: An Introverted Proposal.

A few weeks back I was checking the Sunday Secrets over on Post Secret, as per usual. And, if my memory serves me correctly, this was the first post up on the page. The extent of this man's love and understanding was really heart warming and I knew right away that I needed to save the images and somehow find a use for them. His proposal touched me so much that I couldn't just let a week's worth of Post Secret viewers see it; I needed to show this to as many people as I could. 

Later on I decided that I would simply make a blog post, with a short introduction and then allow the images to speak for themselves. There is no way of guaranteeing that as many people will see this as I hope, but at least I'm sharing it with you and anyone else that visits my blog and sees this post.

Enjoy!

-Hannah. :)

My Life: Seeing Friends and Being Social.

In my personal experience, being an introvert makes my experience of a 'social life' quite different to what people seem to assume a good and normal social life is.

I am more than happy spending time on my own. On days where I have nothing to do -no lectures, no seminars and still three meals worth of food in the house- I spend about 91% of my time alone in my room, and another 6% either in the bathroom or kitchen. Even when there are other people in the house, I'm happy to be by myself and never feel the need to go and socialise with the people who are in. At least not for my benefit anyway, which is why the remaining 3% of my time is spent downstairs interacting with anyone else in the house. And I am more than happy to spend most of my days in this way. Yes, I get bored occasionally because I run out of things to do; but I always find something in the end. And that is usually how almost every free day in my life is spent.

Then I have phases where I really want to go out and see people. I'm not going to lie, this social phase of mine is usually an annual thing that occurs during the summer break when I have lots more free time than usual and when more of my good friends are in closer proximity to me. But even when this phase of mine is at its peak, my social life is nowhere near as busy as the base-rate of some of my extroverted friends' typical social lives. Some of my extroverted friends always seemed to be out doing something all year round; whereas I'm the person who's more willing to be social for a six to eight week period during July and August. By that I mean during my summer breaks I'm slightly more likely to initiate discussing the possibility of meeting up with people, whereas for the rest of the year other people initiate it and invite me along to stuff. Then depending on my mood and if I feel like I've had a satisfactory amount of 'me time' that week, I'll tag along.

Total digression: I read a statement somewhere that was along the lines of "Introverts don't get ready for a party; they gather strength for a party." In terms of me individually I would say that that statement describes me astonishingly well. Getting ready for a party, or any social gathering for that matter, always involves a lot of mental preparation in my experience. I also find I sometimes reassure myself as well if I'm feeling particularly nervous about the event for whatever reason(s), be it the type of event or the people that will be there etc.

Anyway, now that I've indulged my random, little memory, back to what I was originally saying...

I'm currently at the peak of my 2014 social phase. Now some of you may be expecting me to talk about a whole week's worth of socialising, but the thing is last week I only left the house three times. Leaving the house three times in a week to go out and meet with another person is what the peak of my social life is like. That might make some people laugh -to be quite honest when I realised that I chuckled to myself a little bit- and think that I can hardly claim that to be a social life, but to me it is one. And now the majority of my friends have gone back to their universities, so I can no longer easily indulge my slightly increased sociability -although I do have three plans in the works with some of my friends who are around for a bit longer- and I'm not really too fussed about it. Even when I'm feeling more social and would like to go out and hang with some of my friends, I'm still quite happy to spend the day at home in my own little bubble.

Do any of you guys have these sort of phases? Or the reverse if you're an extrovert?
-Hannah. :)

Self-Control: I Have Loads of It, Until I See Something That I Really Want.

In most situations I have fantastic self-control. But sometimes things that I want get the better of me. Sometimes these things even break down my self-control when I'm trying to make an effort to save for an amazing, yet sadly distant, plan.

A beautiful pair of mint Bose headphones nearly got the better of me the other day. It even got to the point where I wrote out an estimate of all my expenses during Term 1 and how much I would be likely to have left over at Christmas. Even after I'd done all my calculations I was still considering it, even though I knew it was a stupid thing to do, and wouldn't benefit me as much as an extra £150 at Christmas would. Finally though, I talked myself out of ordering them -showing my mum the page and her slightly outraged expression towards the price also helped a bit too.

But today two pairs of Vans got the better or me -it would've been them and a pair of Converse if it weren't for the fact the Converse are on my birthday list. I thought about it long and hard; although this time without covering a page in my notebook with calculations. I'd spotted the Vans on the Office website this morning and ordered them this evening, so it's fair to say that quite a few hours went into this decision.

One pair are a duplicate of a pair I currently have. I'm sure that has a lot of you screaming, 'What the hell is wrong with you?! You already have the exact same pair; how can you justify that as not a waste of money?!' and I understand where you're coming from. This was the decision that took up the most time, and I decided to order them in the end as the pair I currently have are four years old; they're a bit on the tatty side; and they didn't end up looking too great when I recently tried washing some stains out of them. So I figured the pair I have now aren't going to last too much longer, and as they're my favourite pair of shoes, I couldn't bare throwing them away without getting myself a replacement pair, if they were still available. That might not justify my purchase to some of you, but it was enough to break me.

The second pair are just a plain, basic, black, slip-on pair. I justified ordering them for the following reasons -which I will admit aren't as good as the ones above-: they're simple but so, so nice at the same time; they'll go with everything, in every season; Vans all have arch support, unlike a lot of shoes these days, which is great for my messed up foot; and I figured the more shoes I have with arch support the sooner my foot will heal and the less likely I am to mess it up again. As I said, these reasons aren't quite as justifiable -although maybe the arch support ones?- but I really liked the shoes so it was a bit easier to justify getting them to myself.

The only annoying thing -that makes me regret my order a little bit- is that I'm now £81 out of pocket. That's £81 I could have potentially saved over the next two years to contribute to funding my trip to Boston -the plan I referred to at the beginning of this post. As punishment to myself though, for doing this, I am not stepping foot inside a clothing shop -at least not purchasing anything from one anyway, with the exception of maybe a really nice top for my birthday drinks- and I'm not doing any online shopping until 2015. I might even extend that ban until the end of Term 2 depending on how much I manage to save up over the rest of 2014.

Am I the only one with this spending problem? Let me know in the comments if you too share my weakness for things you decide you desperately need, even though you probably don't!
-Hannah. :)

Oil and Baby Cream: My Unusual Skin Care Routine.

There are a lot of posts on a multitude of blogs, and a lot of videos on a multitude of YouTube channels relating to various people's skin care routines. Depending of the posts you read and videos you watch, you can often be presented with a number of products suitable to your skin type, but not to your funds. I've watched a great deal of these sorts of videos, as a number of the people I am subscribed to have posted them, and I am usually faced with such products.

Now, when you have skin as problematic as mine, it is never guaranteed that these products will work. So often I judge these supposed miracle products as too much of a risk in terms of potentially being a waste of money. Also, as I'm a student I don't really have much money to spare on these products anyway. So, because of this I have to seek out high street alternatives.

I've found a fair few good alternatives in my time. But my skin gets used to them pretty quickly and in a month or two as the bottle or tube has a third of its contents left, or less, and my skin is totally unresponsive and back to the way it was before. Although there is one product that I found at the beginning of the year -another item of mine that upon hearing of it I had searched four or five shops for until I found it- that has yet to fail me -really hoping I'm not jinxing myself. That product is the pink Garnier moisturiser from their 'Moisture Match' range. It's the one for dry to very dry skin. And although I love this product, this is all the face time it is getting -although it might get some more in a future post- as it's not the reason I have decided to write this post.

Groovy Food's Organic Virgin Coconut Oil. ♥

I have decided to write this post because of two new arrivals in my life that have absolutely nothing to do with skin care.

The first, and least bizarre of the two, is coconut oil. Virgin coconut oil is my saving grace! After two days of applying it twice a day after I'd washed my face -once in the morning and then before I went to bed- my dry skin was noticeably better. A week and a half later, using the same routine, my skin looked amazing and was super, super soft and hydrated. If you have really dry skin then I highly recommend you give virgin coconut oil a go. I honestly can't put into words how great it is!

Not only does this smell like white chocolate,
but it sort of looks like a pot of it too.
Well, until you read the label.

The second, and strangest, is Waitrose's Baby Bottom Butter. It sounds ludicrous I know, but hear me out on this! Now that I'm at university, and my mum has discovered Facebook, she loves sending me links to money saving ideas and websites. One day she sent me a link titled something along the lines of "12 Cheap and Easy Beauty Hacks". I clicked on it, and on this list was the Waitrose Baby Bottom Butter. I didn't think much of it until later my mum reminded me about it and then added that one of her colleagues went to buy it, but her local Waitrose had completely sold out of it because so many women were buying it. That really got me interested, so the next time we found ourselves in a Waitrose we brought a tub of the stuff each. And just like the coconut oil, this stuff is amazing! I now usually use this in the morning as it's a better base for make-up than the oil, and it keeps my skin feeling smooth all day. Another thing I love about this product is the smell, it smells exactly like white chocolate -I sometimes wish I could eat the stuff.

So if any of you reading this have dry to very dry skin, I really, really recommend you try one of these out. They continue to work wonders for me!
-Hannah. :)

My Thoughts: My Life Experiences.

It struck me just now that not a lot of people have similar life experiences to me. I don't mean this in terms of big or memorable life experiences like travelling the world, sky diving, swimming with dolphins or whatever. The life experiences I'm referring to aren't as grand, exciting or positive.

If you read my post relating to internet cut backs in my family home, you will know that I have an autistic sister. She is currently downstairs having a 'melt down' in a fit of rage as a result of a repercussion for breaking one of the new house rules -15 minutes less on her Xbox later on tonight for saying five or more of the banned swear words. It is this 'melt down' that got me thinking, "Not a lot of people I know have to deal with this sort of stuff." Yes, people have siblings, and yes when their siblings get upset they witness and hear how they display their emotions. However it's not quite on the same level as the things I'm used to seeing and hearing.

I don't particularly want to go into any details about it as I don't think it is necessary or appropriate. But I did want to write down and share the amount I felt comfortable with.

Reflecting back on my work during the school holidays, with everything currently happening in mind, I think I've laid a finger on one of the hidden reasons why I enjoy my job so much. Aside from all the obvious reasons for loving my job -all of which are just as valid as the coming one- the more personal one I've just discovered is that it allows me to meet other people with similar experiences to mine. My job, on top of allowing me to help special needs young people and children, allows me to meet and bond with workers who know what a bad day in my life is like.

My job allows me to meet the people I have never found before, the people who totally get it, and I'm thankful for that.

Introverted Favourites: August

August has been an incredibly busy month for me; more so even than the month of my exams at university. It has also been a very diverse month in terms of how my time has been spent. It is for these reasons that I thought I would end the month and begin the new one with a list of my favourite things from this month, ranging from things that I have done, purchased and encountered.

First up is a beauty product that I have been waiting somewhat-patiently for a month and a half to be released; and that is the new range of Revlon ColourStay Moisture Stains. As soon as I saw they were on the Boots website I went straight to one of my nearest Boots stores to see what they had to offer from the twelve colours in the range. They had a total of six, four of which I had the names of jotted down in my Notes app and wanted to try out. However after swatching them on my hand I only though two of the shades would suit me. They were '050 - London Posh' -a shimmery nude, so within my comfort zone- and '015 - Barcelona Nights' -a lovely fuchsia colour that is slightly out of my comfort zone. Later on in another Boots store, as I've mentioned in my previous post, I then found '025 - Cannes Crush' a gorgeous peachy coral colour that I was determined to get my hands on since hearing about the range and seeing the first swatches.

I have become somewhat of a lipstick fiend as of late -although looking at my collection I mainly seem to stick to Revlon products with the occasional Rimmel exception- so while I was at the Revlon stand I took the opportunity to see if they had any of the ColourStay Ultimate Suede range. They only had three colours though, which I was a bit disappointed about, but in terms of my bank account I guess it was for the best. The shade I had in mind to try out was called 'Couture' but that wasn't one of the shades they had in stock. So, not wanting to miss out on trying the range I went for quite a bright red shade called '093 - Boho Chic' which I have since fallen in love with. It has fantastic staying power, even when eating and drinking!

As Boots were offering a '2 for £10' deal on Revlon products I thought that four items for £20 was more justifiable spending than three items for £17.99. Because of that I went ahead and got myself another lipstick. It is the colour '415 - Pink in the Afternoon' in their Super Lustrous Lipstick range and it has become my new staple lipstick. The colour is gorgeous!

Moving on from beauty, another of my favourites this month is Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Since getting the DVD the day after it was released I've watched it at least three times. Two of those viewings being consecutive. Honestly, it is just such a great film! It is without a doubt my favourite film -although lots of people are saying Guardians of the Galaxy might change that; but I highly doubt it will. I hope those aren't my famous last words.

A constant favourite of mine that is worth noting this month is LUSH. LUSH is a fantastic shop, with a whole host of amazing products, and brilliant staff. Every single LUSH store I have been in -in particular the one I went into while in Glasgow- has blown me away with the excellence of their customer service and their ever so friendly employees. I always leave LUSH stores with a smile on my face and my spirits lifted a little higher thanks to the members of staff.

LUSH's Twilight bathbomb, before and after being submerged in bearably hot water.

Keeping along the lines of LUSH another favourite of mine this month has been super relaxing baths. After getting back from my residential I was in serious need of some intense relaxation; so as soon as I got home I ran myself a bath with a tonne of bubble bath and some Vanilla Cupcake scented Yankee Candles lit on the side, and thus a habit has been born. Since then I've indulged myself with three more relaxation baths and mixed things up a bit each time. By mixing up I mean things like switching the bubble bath for a LUSH bathbomb; adding some more candles to the room; and having my iPod playing in the background. My bath at home has now become like my own little safe haven. I have a feeling I'll miss it sorely when I head off back to university in late September.

Lastly, something that I've enjoyed throughout August is my job and the people I've met through it. I will admit that there were a number of moments that really tested me. I definitely dealt with more than my fair share of shit, but I held myself together. Don't get me wrong, a few cracks started to form every once in a while, but I quickly sealed those little buggers up! Also, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm incredibly proud of myself for sticking with it all. And overall I had a good time for the most part; which is about 90% thanks to all the wonderful workers I met and worked with. I met such lovely people and got on so well with them. The majority I hadn't worked with before -although a handful I had- and they were all just so lovely, welcoming and supportive. I can't wait until Easter when hopefully I'll get to see some of them again.

So those have been the majority of my favourites this month. Let me know what some of your's were in the comments? I'd love to hear!
-Hannah. :)

The Introverted Traveller: My Week in Scotland.

As some of you may have noticed my blog as been pretty quiet as of late. That is for two main reasons. The first is that throughout August, and some of July as well, I have been working almost non-stop bar weekends. I would go into more detail, but I'm unsure as to how many of you would actually like to hear about that sort of thing.

The second reason is that I have been on holiday. If you didn't read the second half of the title you may be expecting pictures of the beach and cocktail glasses. That's just what usually springs to mind went you think of a holiday I guess. However my holiday wasn't along those lines. I spent a week in Scotland with a group of about 30 people. We stayed in a really remote area in a tucked away house, with two cottages on the grounds, as well as some other nice features (Games room, pool house, barbecue hut etc.).

The majority of the younger adults and teens.

The week was really good and I enjoyed myself all-in-all. Although I came home with less than I expected in terms of gifts for my family. I took around £70 with me in cash, but almost all of that was spent on taxis and trains. I can hardly complain though because I enjoyed going to all of the places we visited.

On the Monday we walked along the canal to see the Falkirk Wheel in action. I wasn't too bothered about going to see it, but felt it would be rude to separate myself from the group so early on. I still wasn't too bothered about it all when we discovered that Freddie Flintoff was also there. He was filming there as part of his new Sky 1 programme that has yet to be named. Although I wasn't particularly bothered by his presence a number of the male members of the group were practically swooning at the sight of him.

Tuesday was much more to my taste. We all headed into Stirling for the day, with plans of walking around the castle. However when we found out there was a £14 admission charge per person we decided to find something else to do. So instead we had a bit of a wander in the neighbouring graveyard. I know graveyards aren't to everyone's taste, but personally I love them. There is hardly anything as peaceful as going for a walk in a graveyard and reading the occasional gravestone, in my opinion. Then we went for lunch and had a look around the shopping centre. This was just as enjoyable as there was a MenKind, LUSH and HMV for me to explore. I treated myself to a couple of bathbombs in LUSH and finally got my hands on the Captain America: The Winter Soldier DVD -I say finally because it felt like an eternity to me, but the DVD had only been released the previous day.

A quick snapshot of the graveyard in Stirling.

On Wednesday the majority of the group planned to stay on the house's grounds. I had other plans for my day though. I'm a huge fan of comedy -who isn't?- and I've wanted to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival since I found out it existed. So being in Scotland I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to catch at least one show. So that's just what I did. I decided that I wanted to see either Daniel Sloss or Rhys James. I was leaning more towards Rhys James as I've already had the pleasure of seeing Daniel Sloss twice in London; and that is who I booked tickets for in the end. Rhys' set was a great and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. If it weren't for him telling us that this was his first year at the Fringe I would never have guessed it. Then when we returned to the house we were just in time for the barbecue supper.

Thursday involved another day trip out; this time it was to Glasgow. I really, really enjoyed my time in Glasgow, even if it did rain a lot and I missed out on meeting/seeing the YouTuber Jim Chapman, who also happened to be in Glasgow that day. Again I separated from the group, along with Brandon. During our exploration of Glasgow I popped into another LUSH; got a new shirt from New Look; finally found the shade 'Cannes Crush' in the new Revlon lipstain after previously searching four different Boots for it, both in England and Scotland; and -probably my highlight of the day- had some cocktails in the Hard Rock Café before heading to the station to re-group and grab a Starbucks.

A monument to remember this year's Commonwealth Games.

I decided to skip the outing on Friday and remain on the grounds. I stayed in our cottage pretty much the whole day watching TV and beginning to do a bit of packing. I spent Saturday in almost the exact same way, just with a bit more packing and a group meal out in the evening. And on Sunday we headed home; en route I grabbed lunch at the Bagel Factory and felt in love with their 'The Classic' in a sesame bagel.

My lunch courtesy of the Bagel Factory in Edinburgh Waverley Station.

I had a great week and would definitely love to go back to Scotland again. In particular Edinburgh as I didn't get a chance to explore it as much as I would have liked. It would also be nice to see Edinburgh when the Fringe Festival isn't on, as then I could see Edinburgh for Edinburgh as opposed to Edinburgh during the Fringe Festival. I'd also like to visit Glasgow again as I really liked the city.

Are there any places in Scotland you would like to visit, or already have and would recommend going to?
-Hannah. :)

P.S. If you'd like to see a couple more of the I took during my time in Scotland then I suggest you check out my Instagram (Info in my bio).

Core Personal Projects: The Key to Future Happiness?

Hello fellow introverts! As I'm sure all of you are now aware, I have read Susan Cain's fantastic book 'Quiet'. This is yet another post relating back to one of the many things this book has taught me.

I'm sure I'm not the only one here who wants a happy life. As part of my happy life I want a job that I truly enjoy, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that either. However when I think about all the potential jobs out there the majority of them don't look that appealing to me. I know there are a number of aspects that I would not enjoy, and as a result I would end up hating my job. For example, I could never work in retail. I know myself, and I know that I would not be able to handle small talk at the tills and challenging customers. Just the thought of having such a job fills me with dread. And the same goes for higher paying jobs, deemed as more successful than retail, because I know a lot of them involve presentations.

Although I really want a job that I love, it just wasn't looking like I was going to be able to have that. That was until Susan Cain pointed out that introverts work with passion and enjoyment when they're working on something they really care about. She referred to the things that individuals care about as Core Personal Projects (CPPs). According to the book introverts don't mind, or even find it hard, acting in an extroverted way when they have to give a presentation relating to something they truly care about. I can totally relate to this. Once you get me talking about something I feel very strongly about, I talk with a great deal of passion, and it's pretty hard to shut me up -although telling me you 'really don't care' usually works.

A little later on she explains the three steps you can take in order to find out what your CPPs are. So, setting the book aside and grabbing a notepad and pen, I began work on figuring out what my CPPs were. I'm not sure how well I did at identifying them, but I managed to piece together four CPPs that I named: Personal Life Goals, Social Justice, Organisational/Planning Roles, and Statistics and Analysis -which is more of a sub-CPP of Organisational/Planning Roles than a stand-alone one.

So hopefully now that I've been enlightened a little, I stand more of a chance of landing the perfect job once I've graduated. And hopefully it stays that way, as the idea of unstable employment and being unemployed makes me feel pretty anxious.

If you would like to work out your Core Personal Projects then just follow these three steps, as detailed in 'Quiet':

1. What things did you love doing as a child? As a child what did you say you wanted to be when you grew up? -Analyse them for deeper meanings. 
2. What sort of work do you usually gravitate towards?
3. What things are you envious of?

From your answers to these three questions you can slowly group common phrases together and thus identify your Core Personal Projects.

For anyone interested in doing so, I wish you luck. Hopefully my brief instructions were clear enough without me adding examples. And if you'd be willing to share your CPPS, I'd love to hear what you came up with in the comments!

-Hannah. :)

Reflections: My Early Teenage Years.

This post is a reflection on a chunk of my teenage years. More specifically the ages of 12 to 15, also referred to as my 'Emo Years'. What prompted this post was a friend of mine tagging me in a link to a Buzz Feed article titled '26 Things Only Former Emo Kids Will Understand' and the shocking number of things on that list that applied to my Emo Years. So I thought I'd go through some of the ones that applied to me and laugh at my former self. Who knows, maybe some of you will be able to relate!

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5. Wednesday was the most important day of the week because that's when Kerrang! Magazine came out.
This is very true. When I was younger every Wednesday without fail I would get Kerrang! Magazine. Then my parents made it even easier by getting my a subscription to the magazine. After that subscriptions ran out a year later I ended up never picking up a Kerrang! Magazine again. Not that I ended up with something against the magazine; I just got bored of it and towards the end of the subscription I only ever looked at the pages with all the tour dates on.

6. You used the pictures from Kerrang! Magazine to decorate your room.
Again this is incredibly true of my teenage years, and is still ever so slightly true now. Once I had read my Kerrang! Magazine I used to rip out the posters and cut the rest of it to shreds. All the images I'd taken from the magazine would then end up blue-tacked to the walls of my tiny bedroom.

I have since switched rooms with one of my sisters. The room is a lot big and my collection of old Kerrang! cut-outs is a lot smaller. So now only my chimney breast is completely covered in a Kerrang! cut-out, gig ticket and random photos collage. That being said, since I've going away to uni some of the pictures have started to fall off and I have yet to put them back up.

9. You fancied Sonny Moore way before he was Skrillex.
There is no point denying it, back in his From First To Last days I had a decent sized crush on Sonny Moore -not so much anymore. The same can't really be said for his Skrillex days though.

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11. You remember when The Daily Mail ran a campaign against emos.
I remember this very well. I'm not sure if it was just the one article or if there were a few more; but my aunt actually cut out the first Daily Mail 'article' that fuelled this anti-emo campaign of theirs and gave it to me. I might actually still have it somewhere...

12. And you cheered on as the emo community fought back.
I'm not going to lie, when I found out about Gerard Way encouraging My Chemical Romance's huge Reading Festival audience to chant "Fuck the Daily Mail"  when he found out about it, I was a very happy and very proud emo. And I'm still pretty happy that the 'emo community' fought back.

14. You perfected the MySpace pose years before the word 'selfie' was a thing.
The 'selfie' was born in 2013; my -now embarrassing- MySpace poses were born in 2007. I had the selfie down to a T before it was even called a selfie. To some of you that may sound like I'm proud of my MySpace pictures, and that is because sarcasm doesn't translate well in text. The majority, if not all, of my MySpace pictures are horrifically embarrassing.

The perfect MySpace pose formula: hold the camera at any awkward angle, look away from the camera, pull a face instead of smiling and always have your non-camera holding hand -a.k.a. the awkward hand- in shot.
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17. Your Converse were everything to you.
I think all your Converse meant everything to you as a teenager, whether you were an emo or not. All my friends and people in my class loved their Converse, and only 30% of them at the very most could ever be labelled as 'emo'.

21. Your outfit was not complete without a studded belt.
I own three studded belts that I no longer wear. The famous three rows of silver studs, pink and white studs, and multicoloured studs. I don't think I need say any more.

23. Local band nights were the only place to be seen.
I became friends with a lot of people in local bands. As a result of being friends or friendly acquaintances with a multitude of band members, and wanting to support them in their pursuit of musical success, I went to a lot of local band's gigs. I knew so many that in my sixth form years I was able to throw a fund raising gig for the Teenage Cancer Trust, and finding the bands was the easiest part.

So there is a little insight into my early teenage years, which can also be referred to as my most embarrassing years so far. I hope you enjoyed finding out a little bit more about me; and hopefully some of you can relate because if it's only me that can put my hand up and say, "Loads of these things apply to me," then I'm either being too honest, or I had the misfortune of being more emo than average for three years.
-Hannah. :)

Life Update: Stressed and a Little Upset.

[Just a quick note: This post is quite personal and I talk a little about some things that people may find a slightly distressing. There is also some swearing nearer to the end.]

Since the academic year began one of my sisters has had a lot of trouble adapting to all of the change in her life. A lot of things changed for her all in one go: she started sixth form; she got a new teacher, which just so happened to be a teacher she didn't like; the majority of her friends from her old class all left and went to college; I went to university and thus moved out. Being autistic she has trouble adjusting to one small change to her routine, let alone so many big changes. As a result of her trouble coping with all this change -as well as possibly some side-effects from the medication she's on for her arthritis- her behaviour has become a lot more challenging, especially at school. She gets anxious a lot, and when things don't go her way she pretty much goes into complete melt down mode.

Obviously as I've been away at uni, I've not seen any of this for myself, and I've only found out about it when my mum has had the chance to text or ring me. Now that I am home I am able to see and hear more about my sister's current 'state,' for lack of a better word, for myself. And I must admit she does seem a lot more highly strung than before. The smallest thing can really annoy her now. The day I arrived home she came out to greet me and everything was fine and dandy; but minutes later when we were in the living room I said something in a playful tone and she verbally lashed out at me. Growing up with her I'm used to verbal abuse when she's in a bad mood, but not as a result of something as simple as her not wanting to continue the banter.

Her school are finding it hard to manage, but thankfully they are looking for ways in which to help her, as opposed to simply saying they no longer want her at the school. Two of the deputy head teachers actually came over the other day to talk to my parents and look at my sister's room. Although I was in my room busy clearing out my wardrobe before I unpacked the clothes I brought home from uni, I was able to overhear a thing or two. The two members of staff, as well as my mum and one of my nans, are pretty much convinced that on top of being severely autistic my sister has at least two or three mental health issues. She is a very anxious person and has had panic attacks in the past, so an anxiety disorder is definitely among these "underlying mental health issues" as the two staff members put it; and they are also pretty certain that she has depression as well.

When they looked at her room they were asking my mum questions about my sister's ability to access the internet through devices such as her phone, tablet and Xbox. As she has such readily available access to the internet and spends a great deal of time on it -but to be honest what teenager doesn't in this day and age?- they feel she is surrounding herself with a false reality in order to get away from her actual reality. They also feel like she is at 'crisis point' -which personally I think is a load of shit. In order to overcome both of these things the two deputy heads from her school have said they think it would be beneficial if my mum took away everything that provides my sister with internet access.

Now what I find hilarious about this proposition is that they know full well what my sister is capable of when she is upset and feels that she is being treated unfairly. So to suggest making her go cold-turkey against her will on the internet -which means to take away her new phone, relatively new Xbox and other electronics all at once- is probably the most ridiculous thing they could have done. My mum is already under enough stress as it is, and they want her to have to endure all the practically uncontrollable verbal and physical violence without any help from the school seeing as it's now closed for summer. It makes no sense to me how they could even think about saying that now is the most appropriate time to do this. Surely the most sensible way to go about doing this over the summer break -if now even is the best time to do it- is to set time limits on when she has access to her phone and Xbox etc., and then begin to gradually reduce that time over the course of the summer break?

To be blunt, I personally think this idea is a load of shit. I'm also really anxious and stressed out about it myself. I know fairly well what to expect from my sister when this goes down. She is going to lose control. She's going to scream her lungs out; she's going to get so stressed and worked up that she makes herself feel ill; she's going to cry so hard that no tears will come out; she's going to trash her room completely; she going to wish death upon us all; she's going to repeatedly yell abuse at us; and if any of us get close to her she will probably lash out at us too. 

What doesn't help is that all my family are completely inept at handling her. My dad is clueless and just fumes with anger; my other sister will just be an emotional wreck and have to walk around the block until she's calmed down; and I don't know why any of my grandparents even bother -yes they mean well, but whatever they do usually just makes things worse. The only ones that have the slightest clue what to do are my mum and I. But I don't think that's going to cut it. Throughout August I'm working and away for two weeks, so I'm not really going to be able to help my mum out. And as great as my mum is I really don't think she's going to be able to emotionally or psychologically cope. She's so stressed out about it all at the moment that she has been sent home twice and has gone off work sick with stress until September.

So there's a little life update/rant. Sorry if it's a bit heavy, but I just really needed to get all of that off of my chest; and here, in writing, seemed like the best place.

-Hannah. :)

The Introverted Traveller: My London Mini-Break at The Rembrandt.

On Monday afternoon my boyfriend and I headed into London. More specifically, we headed to South Kensington, where for two nights we would be staying in a fairly swanky four star hotel. The trip came about as a result of my boyfriend saying that he would like to treat me to such a trip for putting up with his body building lifestyle and accepting the fact that he works pretty much everyday. As I'm the organised one he gave me the task of researching hotels, but specified that there had to be a bath and the hotel had to be at least three stars.

Originally I was looking at hotels in and around Shepherds Bush, as he had suggested we go to Westfields one of the days we were there. But once he'd come home from work and gave them a quick look he decided that we should look into some other places as well. That's round about the time that he said I could decide where we stayed -so long as it was no more than £380- as it was my trip.

The Natural History Museum is my all time favourite museum and I was determined to visit it again this summer. The museum is in South Kensington, and -slightly obviously- the Kensington Gardens aren't too far from it. I was also meaning to visit the Kensington Gardens as it is not only the home of Peter Pan, but also his statue. Deciding to roll these destinations into one with my mini-break in London, I moved my search to hotels in South Kensington; and that is how I found out about The Rembrandt.

The location of The Rembrandt was absolutely perfect for my itinerary. It had a host of restaurants, that were a five minute walk away or less, on both sides; and it was a ten minute walk away from the Natural History Museum, which was always going to be my first port of call.

Your view when you walk through the main entrance
-including Dippy, my favourite thing at the museum-
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When we reached our room after checking in I was pleasantly surprised, especially by the bathroom. The actual room was very true to the images I had seen -I was expecting it to be smaller as rooms often appear larger in well-angled photos for websites. The bathroom surpassed all my expectations though. There were two different sets of lighting, a large mirror, a heated towel rack, and a lovely, large shower/bath combo -the bath even had jets, which I thought was really cool.

We decided just to spend the rest of the day settling in and freshening up before heading out to dinner. We weren't really sure where we were going to eat, as we'd not seen any restaurants with familiar names as we made our way to the hotel. Eventually we decided just to head back to the little strip of restaurants on the way to the station. After my boyfriend perused a menu fixed by the side of a restaurants entrance for a carb-free dish, we decided to head in. The result was a lovely, but pricey dinner in a really nice Lebanese restaurant. If I wasn't so tired and drained the following day I'm sure we would have ended up having dinner there again Tuesday evening.

The LUSH Honeybee bath-bomb I treated myself to Monday evening.

Tuesday was our only full day and it was definitely the most hectic. We were rudely awoken at 5:48am by the hotel's fire alarm. So I had to throw on a dressing gown and made my way down the hotel's external stairs, round the block to the front of the hotel, and then almost immediately back into the hotel as I heard a member of staff at the door tell another guest that it was a false alarm. Needless to say I wasn't to cheerful.

Thankfully though after another hour and a half's worth of sleep I was feeling more human and began to get ready to go down for the breakfast buffet. I can't really say enough about both the buffet and the staff working within that area of the lounge -and that applies to my experience on Wednesday morning as well.

Once we'd finished breakfast, we headed back up to our room so I could attempt to do 'beachy waves' for the first time. Aside from accidentally turning the straighteners off half way through I'd say it was a success. Then we grabbed our room cards and headed out into the heat. As I said before the Natural History Museum was to be our first port of call, so that's where we headed.

There were tonnes of people inside the museum. I had never seen it so packed before. In the first exhibit I could barely move, and the whole place was baking. The sheer amount of people and the resulting heat within the museum got too much for me very quickly. By the time I was a quarter of the way through the dinosaur section -my favourite part of the museum, joint with the the room with the blue whale; which incidentally I didn't get to see, as I will explain below- I was fed up and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. The fact I was sweating, dehydrated and engulfed by tourists and school kids put me in such a bad mood. It completely ruined that visit for me, which I found really upsetting as I love that museum so much.

After I had forced my way through a non-moving crowd I stormed out of the dinosaur section, not looking at a single display or bone, and not even caring if I lost my boyfriend along the way; brought a bottle of water; drank half of it and then stormed out into the sun.

We then made our way to the Science Museum as that's the one my boyfriend wanted to go to. It was exactly like the Natural History museum in the sense that it was packed and filled to the rafters with school kids, which did absolutely nothing to help alleviate the foul mood I was in. By the time we got to the end of the first room my boyfriend had had enough too; so after being in there for about ten minutes we walked right back out again. Then we began to make our way to the Kensington Gardens so I could get a picture next to the Peter Pan statue -I know that might sound like a random thing to visit, so I might write a follow-up post explaining my love for Peter Pan.

Then we headed over into Hyde Park in order to get to Oxford Street. By this time our feet were killing us and we were boiling -jeans and chinos were not good legwear decisions that day. After grabbing a bite to eat we headed to H&M so I could get a top I saw on Instagram, followed by Primark so my boyfriend could by shorts to change into, and then finally before heading back to the hotel we had a sit down and cool drink in Starbucks. Once we got back to South Kensington we made a final stop at a little Japanese restaurant called Tombo to get some food to take back to our hotel room for dinner -I had a noodle bowl with chicken that was absolutely amazing! I would definitely eat from there again.

Then on Wednesday we got up, had breakfast, packed and then checked-out. So nothing too exciting. Although, on our way we did discover that Chipotle has opened up a few restaurants in London, which we got pretty excited about. So I will definitely be heading back into Central London for a meal in one of them this summer.

Sorry if super long posts aren't your cup of tea. I just wanted to share the main bits and pieces of my trip with you.
I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!
-Hannah. :)

The Introverted Bookworm: Books I Plan to Read Over the Summer | Part One.

Now that I'm nearing the end of the book I'm currently reading, it's time for me to decide what book to move onto next. And as I looked upon all the books in my room I have yet to read, I decided to save that decision for another day -or at the very least postpone it for a few hours- and make a post to share with you guys the books I have yet to read, and aim to get read by the time I start uni again in October.

My last bookworm post was rather long and only covered three books. I have a lot more than three books that I plan to read this summer, so I thought I would break this post down into two. In this first part I plan to just cover the 'classic novels' that I plan to read, and in my second post I will cover the other novels I have lined up, as well as the psychology books that are currently sat on my self, calling my name.

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First up from the classics is Dracula. I've always been in to creepy, quirky, Halloweeny things. I know that isn't the best description, but hopefully you get what I mean. When I was little I used to watch a lot of cartoons, just like any other little kid would. But unlike some little kids back then, on top of the usual cartoons like Scooby-Doo, Wacky Races, Tom and Jerry and The Powerpuff Girls, I also used to watch the cartoon series adaptations of Beetlejuice and The Addams Family. I think my exposure to those shows and my enjoyment of them, had some involvement in my love for spooky, Halloween characters and stories. So of course it makes perfect sense for me to read Dracula -I read Frankenstein a few months back too.

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I've also got The Picture of Dorian Gray waiting to be read. Which I guess could also be related to my 'Halloweeny interests'. I'm basing that statement on the fact my mum saw the film when it first came out and said it freaked her out and she screamed a lot. Other than that all I really know is that Dorian Gray's portrait ages but he does not; so I'm looking forward to reading it and finding out what else happens.





And last but not least, for the classics, I also plan on reading Moby Dick. I'm not really sure why I decided to buy this book. It's always been a book I've been 50/50 about reading, but something in me decided to buy it when I had a little book haul in Waterstones. I'm looking forward to reading this, but I'm thinking of saving it for my holiday in August. That's purely because it's the thickest unread book I have and if I can make it last a week it mean I won't have to weigh my suitcase down with any more books. The only annoying thing is last night on The Chase -a British quiz/game show- they ruined the ending for me by making it one of the questions.

So those are the 'classics' I plan to read over my summer break. If any of you have read them I'd love to hear what you thought. And if there is a book you think I'd like based on these, then please do let me know.
-Hannah. :)

Thoughts and Opinions: Anti-Social?

I feel like this is quite an important post. As you know this blog is made up of me talking about aspects of my introverted life; the main aspect being the fact that I'm a very introverted person in a world that doesn't always value or understand introversion. It is this lack of understanding towards introversion that results in many introverts -myself included- being labelled as anti-social, even by people who are close to them.

I have been called anti-social by the majority of my family, some of my friends and even my boyfriend. But the thing is I'm not an anti-social person. I just don't feel the need to interact with, or even be around, people as often as they do. I enjoy socialising with my friends as much as the next person, I just don't like doing it for too long. Being around people, even people I have known for years; flitting between conversations; and just actively being 'present' is fun fine at first, but it takes up a lot of energy and after a few hours I just want to go home to spend time alone. That doesn't make me an anti-social person though, it makes me a person who needs to 're-charge' more often than others. If I were really anti-social I wouldn't have bothered coming downstairs or going out in the first place.

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The fact that I also suffer from social anxiety is another issue when it comes to being mislabelled as 'anti-social' by others, especially strangers and acquaintances. When people first meet me then tend to think that I'm 'rude', 'stuck up' and/or 'anti-social'. They make these assumptions because I'm not like them when it comes to socialising. To them I am abnormal and therefore deserve these negative labels, because they can't empathise with how much of a struggle I find social situations, especially new ones. You can ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I am neither rude or stuck up. Just because I can't hold a conversation doesn't make me a bad person. Just because I don't say a lot and don't ask questions doesn't make me a bad person either. Just because you can't tell I'm mentally panicking as I speak to you, or that my heart is pounding and my palms are sweating profusely as we interact, doesn't give you the right to assume that I'm a rude, stuck up or anti-social individual.

I think if extroverted people made an attempt to try and understand the perspective introverts have on life; and if sociable people made an attempt to understand how it feels to have social anxiety, both would be seen in less negative lights. I would also hope that it meant people like me would stop being labelled as anti-social and judged as rude by others.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Sorry that it turned into a little bit of a rant half way through.

-Hannah. :)

Music to My Ears: Avenged Sevenfold.

I've always loved music; but -if you discount my massive love for and obsession with Busted before they broke up- ever since I discovered Green Day during my summer half term all the way back in 2006, music has been one of -if not the most- important parts of my life. By the end of that half term I was pretty much obsessed with Green Day.

From trying to hunt some of Green Day's music videos down on the music channels, I discovered Kerrang!. Kerrang! then led me to Scuzz and together they provided me with an array of new music to listen to that I just couldn't get enough of. Like I said at the very beginning of this post, I've always loved music; but the music I found myself listening to in 2006 took my love a whole staircase, let alone step, further. It was as if everything had come together and made perfect sense. This music was me. I could really connect with everything I was listening to. This general genre of 'rock' that I was almost constantly listening to was a part of my identity. Now I know that sounds cliché, and maybe a little pathetic too, but it's the truth. As I fell in love with this music I found a huge part of myself, of my identity.

Now back in the summer holidays of 2006 I was pretty sure that Green Day's music was as good as it got and that I would be a loyal fan of theirs forever. But in that very same summer -August if you want to be precise- I discovered a band called Avenged Sevenfold, and my already completely changed world changed some more. To 12 year old me their music was perfection -just for the record the same goes for present-day me too- and they instantaneously became my new favourite band.

The men in question, minus The Rev + Arin, the band's drummers
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What's different about Avenged Sevenfold to all my previous favourite bands, and what makes them so damn special to me, is that although other bands have come along and I've listened to their albums practically on repeat for months, Avenged Sevenfold have always remained my favourite band. Those bands I listened to for months are all amazing artists and their music is incredible. Many of them are some of my favourite bands today and have been for years, but none of them are my absolute favourite band, because none of them are Avenged Sevenfold.

After almost eight years I am still a loyal Avenged Sevenfold fan, and I'm pretty sure I'll remain that way for the rest of my life. I've done a lot of growing up in the past nine years and Avenged Sevenfold have been with me every step of the way. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have met some of the friends I've made over the years, including two that I used to be very close to. If it wasn't for Avenged Sevenfold a lot of things in my life would be different, and that thought makes me feel very uncomfortable. I'm sure that without them my life wouldn't be as good or as fulfilling as it is. Avenged Sevenfold truly do mean the world to me, and I owe them a hell of a lot.

Zacky Vengeance + Synyster Gates doing what they do best
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What I'm basically trying to say here is that Avenged Sevenfold are a massive part of my life, both in terms of the music they produce and their very existence as human beings and as a band.

If you haven't heard their music before I would definitely recommend checking them out -but then again I would, wouldn't I? They may not be every readers cup of tea, but you never know some of you might turn out to be fans.
-Hannah. :)

The Introverted Bookworm: Books of Importance.

As I mentioned in my introductory post, I'm a bookworm. That hasn't always been the case though. Up until Year 11 I'd never been much of a reader; it took me months to finish books, and that was if I even bothered to finish them. But in the summer months of Year 11, when I was meant to be revising for my GCSEs, I ordered two books off of Amazon. These two books were The Perks of being a Wallflower and Looking For Alaska. I had both of them read within a week, and after that I couldn't stop reading.

I was considering incorporating my love of reading into my blog by doing reviews on some of the books I plan to read over the summer. But I don't think I'm enough of a literary critic to pull that off. So instead I've decided to write a post about the books that I have read that mean the most to me, and attempt to explain why these books are so important to me.

Enjoy!

First I'll start with the book that means the most to me out of the three. That book just so happens to be the previously mentioned Looking for Alaska by John Green. I'm sure many of you have heard of John Green, due to the massive success of his last book, The Fault in Our Stars. The Fault in Our Stars is an incredible book, and in terms of writing, it is Green's best work to date; however in terms of what I've taken from the book Looking for Alaska wins hands down. 

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As cliché as it may sound to some, Looking for Alaska changed my outlook on life a little bit. Miles, the protagonist of the story mentions the idea of the 'Great Perhaps' at the beginning of the novel. And it is this simple little idea that life is a series of situations brought together by numerous perhapses -let's pretend that's a word- that had such a profound effect on me. I'll use an example to try and explain the 'Great Perhaps' to any of you who are unfamiliar with the book: one day you might decide to go to your favourite coffee shop for lunch and perhaps you'll be left alone to read your book; or perhaps someone will walk over and tell you how much they enjoyed the book you're currently reading and you'll form either a new friendship or a casual acquaintance; or perhaps if you sit outside you'll pet the cute dog sat patiently waiting for their owner to come out with their coffee; perhaps when the owner returns you'll strike up conversation and you'll find yourself with a date; or perhaps they'll just smile politely at you, pick up the lead and walk away.

Although I've always been fairly open to new experiences, whenever trying something new or going somewhere new, I was -and still am to a degree- slightly over cautious about the situation and everything surrounding it. However after reading Looking for Alaska I began to embrace new things more, all because of this idea of the 'Great Perhaps'. Instead of meticulously planning things to have as much order and control over the situation as possible, I began to loosen up and embrace the idea of all the things that could happen if I handed a bit of control over to chance. And I must say the 'Great Perhaps' has been very good to me, not so much to my finances in some cases, but overall it's been good to me so far.

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Secondly, there is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. This will be a lot shorter than Looking for Alaska's section as there is far less to explain. This book is important to me, and will not only remain important to me in the future but may also become an invaluable tool, because it provides so much insight into the psychological differences between men and women. 

Not only does it explain these differences and how they can lead to numerous relationship problems, it also provides exercises that help overcome these problems and provides real life examples of how successful these exercises can be if both partners are willing to work on their relationship. I know this is an incredibly popular book, but I think even more people should read it. If you want a successful, committed and happy relationship later in life -or even right now- then I'm practically 100% sure this book will come in handy.

And finally, as some of you may have guessed, is Quiet by Susan Cain. I've mentioned this book a lot already so I won't go into detail about it here; but you should definitely check this book out too!

I know this has been a super long post. Sorry if you got bored half way through, maybe I should have made it into a two part post. But if you did manage to make it to the end and I didn't bore you to death, then go you! Your efforts are greatly appreciated.

Also, if you've made it this far and think I'm crazy for not including a book(s) that is really important to you, let me know what it is/they are in the comments and I'll check it/them out.
-Hannah. :)

Necessities: Haircuts.

*Just a side note before I start: This post relates more to social anxiety than it does introversion. But apparently 1 in 4 introverts suffer with social anxiety, so this post in some ways might still be 'insightful'.*

Tomorrow I plan on walking into town and getting my hair cut. Haircuts are a pretty necessary thing. That being said I've not had my hair cut since the beginning of September, due to an awful haircut I have been patiently growing out. So now that my hair is of a much more decent length I intend to go a bit shorter because 1) my hair has soooo many split ends now, and 2) it's starting to get really warm here in England and my current hair frustrates the hell out of me when I'm hot.

The thing with me though, is that I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with going to the hairdresser. I love it because I come out with much healthier and nicer looking hair; and because I can come out with a drastic change in my appearance. I wouldn't say I did it often, but sometimes it's nice to change your hair style completely. For example, about a year and a half ago now I decided to get my long locks chopped into an A-symmetric bob, and to this day it is still one of the best decisions I ever made.

And I hate it because 1) it's expensive -I really don't understand why we get charged so much compared to men- and 2) it's just so awkward! Having to try and explain what you want done -I now take pictures to aid my explanation; having to sit for at least 45 minutes with nothing to look at except your reflection; having at least 45 minutes of awkward small talk; and having at least 45 minutes of inner panic about a range of things including: small talk topics and responses, staring at your reflection, hoping they don't cut too much off and hoping the haircut you've selected actually suits you.

I know to some people it's such a simple task, but to me it's an awkward ordeal. I think what makes it such a chore for me is the small talk. I absolutely detest small talk; it makes me feel a thousand times more awkward and anxious in social situations, especially ones I can't escape from whenever I'd like. Hopefully I'm not the only one who feels this way.

-Hannah. :)

Participation: A Night at the Races.

I spent my Saturday evening in a large hall with my boyfriend, his family, a large group of their family friends and all the other random people there that I didn't know. The aim of the evening was to bet on horses and the money remaining after everyone collected their winnings would go to charity.

I didn't really understand what the event entailed, as minimal information was provided -thankfully upon entry we were given a programme to tell us what was going on. There were nine races in all -although one was run three times due to technical difficulties- and six 'horses' in each race. The horses were made of wood and at the front had a little clip, where a piece of string could be hooked; the string then led up to a metal frame with a handle. Once six people had volunteered to be jockeys, selected their number and paraded around the hall in a circle around the 'track' it was their job to wind up the string as fast as they possibly could. Whoever wound the fastest, was obviously the one to drag their wooden horse over the finish line first, and therefore the winner. As this was happening the odds were calculated for each horse, so the 'punters' could collect the correct winnings.

Me being my introverted self had absolutely no desire in partaking in any way other than being one of the 'punters.' However, as the picture below indicates, I didn't quite get my way. My boyfriend's mother had sponsored one of the races and named it after her father. Because of this it was decided that all of us should be jockeys in that race, and there just so happened to be six of us, so there was no backing out unless I wanted to annoy, upset or disappoint a few people.

So I tried to muster up enough enthusiasm as I could to take part in my race. I didn't manage to muster up much and felt fairly ridiculous throughout. Especially as I was dressed in a beautiful jockey's outfit and my hand kept slipping off the plastic handle. I ended up coming fifth; but that doesn't really bother me. I'm really not the competitive sort, and just by looking at the two people next to me you can kind of tell there was no way I was coming first -number 2 came first in all three races he volunteered for.

Taking our positions. I'm in the ever-so-stylish number 3 vest/bib.

Now I know this is the part where I'm supposed to say 'although I didn't want to, I'm so glad I participated;' but that isn't what I'm going to say. I'm quite frankly indifferent to the fact that I took part in a race. A number of family friends present where a lot more enthusiastic about my participation than I ended up being. And that is something I find really interesting. 

I know they were probably just doing it to be nice, but the fact they chose to cheer me on when they've known everyone else much longer, implies to me it was a case of, 'Look! Hannah's taking part. She's trying to come out of her shell, let's support her for doing this.' Again, I know that probably sounds like a nice gesture, but I wasn't all that keen on it. I wasn't trying to come out of my shell. I felt slightly pressured into partaking, when I was more than happy just sat watching the races and occasionally placing bets.

It just seems to me that people are never really happy with me being me. Everyone, ever since I was in primary school, has always wanted me to 'come out of my shell,' but I'm more than happy in my shell. If I don't feel like participating in something, pressuring me into coming out of this 'shell' of mine really isn't going to encourage me. I just can't fathom why everyone needs to participate, why everyone needs to be outgoing and happy-go-lucky. I'm none of these things. I participate when I think I have something valid or valuable to offer; I think things through; I weigh up the pros and cons; I plan things almost meticulously, and I have no intention of changing.

What makes this simple race night even more amusing to me, is that right before we went to it we went to visit my boyfriend's grandmother. I've met her many times and she has commented on my quiet and reserved ways in the past. She did the same that day and as she hugged me goodbye she whispered in my ear -even though it was audible enough for the three other people in the room to hear- "Let yourself go." Yet another encouragement, from yet another person to come out of my shell. Now I know that she meant well and I appreciate that she cares enough to give me advice. But it just brought me back to the reason I started this blog a few days ago.

Quiet. Susan Cain, is the one person who has reassured me in my belief that I'm perfectly fine the way I am. Her book is just so empowering to me. I'm an introvert who has no intention of pretending to be an extrovert. I am me and I don't plan on changing that for anybody. Unfortunately though, because I don't plan on changing, it means I have to justify my ways and actions to countless people. I even find myself justifying my introverted behaviours to my boyfriend from time to time.

To anyone who is still reading this post, there is something I want you to take away from this. I want you to know, that whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, you are perfectly fine the way you are. Do what makes you feel comfortable; don't feel pressured into doing things; and don't feeling like you have to change for or justify yourself to others.

You be you, I'll be me, and in the words of John and Hank Green: Don't forget to be awesome.

-Hannah. :)