[Just a quick note: This post is quite personal and I talk a little about some things that people may find a slightly distressing. There is also some swearing nearer to the end.]
Since the academic year began one of my sisters has had a lot of trouble adapting to all of the change in her life. A lot of things changed for her all in one go: she started sixth form; she got a new teacher, which just so happened to be a teacher she didn't like; the majority of her friends from her old class all left and went to college; I went to university and thus moved out. Being autistic she has trouble adjusting to one small change to her routine, let alone so many big changes. As a result of her trouble coping with all this change -as well as possibly some side-effects from the medication she's on for her arthritis- her behaviour has become a lot more challenging, especially at school. She gets anxious a lot, and when things don't go her way she pretty much goes into complete melt down mode.
Obviously as I've been away at uni, I've not seen any of this for myself, and I've only found out about it when my mum has had the chance to text or ring me. Now that I am home I am able to see and hear more about my sister's current 'state,' for lack of a better word, for myself. And I must admit she does seem a lot more highly strung than before. The smallest thing can really annoy her now. The day I arrived home she came out to greet me and everything was fine and dandy; but minutes later when we were in the living room I said something in a playful tone and she verbally lashed out at me. Growing up with her I'm used to verbal abuse when she's in a bad mood, but not as a result of something as simple as her not wanting to continue the banter.
Her school are finding it hard to manage, but thankfully they are looking for ways in which to help her, as opposed to simply saying they no longer want her at the school. Two of the deputy head teachers actually came over the other day to talk to my parents and look at my sister's room. Although I was in my room busy clearing out my wardrobe before I unpacked the clothes I brought home from uni, I was able to overhear a thing or two. The two members of staff, as well as my mum and one of my nans, are pretty much convinced that on top of being severely autistic my sister has at least two or three mental health issues. She is a very anxious person and has had panic attacks in the past, so an anxiety disorder is definitely among these "underlying mental health issues" as the two staff members put it; and they are also pretty certain that she has depression as well.
When they looked at her room they were asking my mum questions about my sister's ability to access the internet through devices such as her phone, tablet and Xbox. As she has such readily available access to the internet and spends a great deal of time on it -but to be honest what teenager doesn't in this day and age?- they feel she is surrounding herself with a false reality in order to get away from her actual reality. They also feel like she is at 'crisis point' -which personally I think is a load of shit. In order to overcome both of these things the two deputy heads from her school have said they think it would be beneficial if my mum took away everything that provides my sister with internet access.
Now what I find hilarious about this proposition is that they know full well what my sister is capable of when she is upset and feels that she is being treated unfairly. So to suggest making her go cold-turkey against her will on the internet -which means to take away her new phone, relatively new Xbox and other electronics all at once- is probably the most ridiculous thing they could have done. My mum is already under enough stress as it is, and they want her to have to endure all the practically uncontrollable verbal and physical violence without any help from the school seeing as it's now closed for summer. It makes no sense to me how they could even think about saying that now is the most appropriate time to do this. Surely the most sensible way to go about doing this over the summer break -if now even is the best time to do it- is to set time limits on when she has access to her phone and Xbox etc., and then begin to gradually reduce that time over the course of the summer break?
To be blunt, I personally think this idea is a load of shit. I'm also really anxious and stressed out about it myself. I know fairly well what to expect from my sister when this goes down. She is going to lose control. She's going to scream her lungs out; she's going to get so stressed and worked up that she makes herself feel ill; she's going to cry so hard that no tears will come out; she's going to trash her room completely; she going to wish death upon us all; she's going to repeatedly yell abuse at us; and if any of us get close to her she will probably lash out at us too.
What doesn't help is that all my family are completely inept at handling her. My dad is clueless and just fumes with anger; my other sister will just be an emotional wreck and have to walk around the block until she's calmed down; and I don't know why any of my grandparents even bother -yes they mean well, but whatever they do usually just makes things worse. The only ones that have the slightest clue what to do are my mum and I. But I don't think that's going to cut it. Throughout August I'm working and away for two weeks, so I'm not really going to be able to help my mum out. And as great as my mum is I really don't think she's going to be able to emotionally or psychologically cope. She's so stressed out about it all at the moment that she has been sent home twice and has gone off work sick with stress until September.
So there's a little life update/rant. Sorry if it's a bit heavy, but I just really needed to get all of that off of my chest; and here, in writing, seemed like the best place.
-Hannah. :)
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